First dates 4 min read
First Date Ideas That Let Your Personality Shine
The best first dates give you something to do and plenty to talk about: a pub quiz, a coffee and a walk, a museum, a market, a game of bowling or crazy golf. Pick somewhere public, keep it short and let the activity take the pressure off.
By The Ugly Bug Ball team
In short
- Choose a date with something to do, not just a table to stare across.
- Pub quizzes, walks, museums, markets and games all work well.
- Keep it short, public and easy to extend if it goes well.
- A quick video call first settles nerves on both sides.
Why the activity matters
A candlelit restaurant puts two faces a foot apart for two hours with nothing to look at but each other. That is a lot of pressure if you are self-conscious. A first date with something to do takes the spotlight off appearances and puts it on what you are like together: whether you laugh at the same things, whether the conversation flows, whether you would like to do it again.
A pub quiz
Ideal for anyone who is funnier than they are photogenic. You sit side by side, you have a shared goal, and the questions do the small talk for you. Losing badly together is half the fun.
Coffee and a walk
Low cost, easy to end after half an hour if it is not working, and easy to extend if it is. Walking side by side is more relaxed than sitting face to face, and a park, a canal path or a seafront always gives you something to point at.
A museum or gallery
Free in many cities, quiet enough to talk and full of conversation starters. You learn a lot about someone from what makes them stop and stare, and what makes them giggle.
A market or food festival
Wander, share something odd from a stall and argue about the best one. Food is a great leveller, and nobody looks glamorous eating street food.
Bowling, crazy golf or a board game café
A bit of friendly competition breaks the ice fast. Being bad at it is an advantage: it gives you both something to laugh about.
Keep it safe
Meet somewhere public and busy, get yourself there and home, keep your drink in sight and tell a friend where you are going. A short video call beforehand settles nerves on both sides and confirms the person is who they say they are. Our safety page has more, and if the date goes well and you want a second, our profile tips are worth a look before you update your photos.
Questions people ask
What is a good first date if I am shy?
Something side by side with an activity, such as a pub quiz, a walk or a museum, so the conversation has help.
How long should a first date be?
An hour or two is plenty. Short and fun leaves you both wanting a second.
Who should pay?
Whatever you agree. Many people split the first date, and a cheap activity makes that easy.
Should we video call first?
It is a good idea. It confirms the person is real and makes meeting much less nerve-wracking.